Conflict Management

Conflict in the Bible

If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. (Mark 3:24-25, NIV)
With these words, our Lord Jesus Christ described the ominous potential of conflict. Unchecked and unresolved, conflict can tear apart an organization, a family, a team, and even a kingdom. He emphasized this truth when responding to the Pharisees’ accusation that He was “By the prince of demons he is driving out demons" (Mark 3:22b, NIV). Jesus could not have been demonic and at the same time destroying the demonic forces. Likewise, an organization is unable to continually to fight against itself and endure. Members will either be so wounded that they are unable to function or they will leave. Either way, the organization will be unable to carry out its mission. The resources of the organization will be, in effect, used up by the conflict.
In order to better understand conflict as it appears in Scripture, the following discussion will address these components:

Overall scope of conflict

Different types of conflict with examples

Results of conflict.

1. Overall Scope of Conflict
Scripture is replete with incidents of conflict. It can be found from Genesis to Revelation. The scope of conflict covers a time from before the foundations of the world until the consummation of this age. Conflict occurs in the heavenly realm between our Lord and His angelic creatures (Job 1:7-12, 2:1-7; Ezekiel 28:12-19), between the angelic creatures and men (Genesis 3:1-7), between men and women (Exodus 4:24-26), and even between our Lord and men (for most of His earthly ministry). It appears that no one is exempt from conflict. Ultimately, the Lord will judge the heavens and the earth. After this, He will miraculously create a new heaven and a new earth where conflict will be ended. Rather,
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new." ( Revelation 21:4-5a, NIV)

2. Different Types of Conflict With Examples
Studying the various examples of conflict in Scripture, we can understand much about human nature, about how God’s laws and principles work, and about the consequences of behavior which contradicts God’s plan. Consider the conflict introduced in the Garden of Eden by the serpent, a creature used by Satan to tempt Adam and Eve:
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. he said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'" "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. (Genesis 3:1-6, NIV)
Satan presented a conflict over GOALS. Satan’s goal was dominion over everything, including God. God’s goal was create a race of people with whom He could have fellowship. Using guile, Satan was successful in getting Eve to break God’s express command not to eat of the fruit. Adam, “...who was with her..." (Genesis 3:6, NIV), was there and also broke the commandment. Humanity’s parents faced a significant conflict. The serpent first introduced doubt into their otherwise harmonious relationship with God by his question, “Did God really say...?" (Genesis 3:1b, NIV). Second, the serpent twisted God’s word by giving a half-truth, “when you eat of it your eyes will be opened" (Genesis 3:5, NIV), combined with a lie, “...you will be like God" (Genesis 3:5, NIV). The conflict introduced by Satan drove a wedge in the relationship between human beings and God. Even though it was based on a lie, the conflict escalated. The result was sinful behavior by Adam and Eve.
Lies and deceipt form the basis of many conflicts in the Bible. Jesus was continually confronted by the Jewish leaders who posed seemingly innocent questions to Him while plotting to trap Him with His answer. The Sadducees posed a question concerning the resurrection of the dead when they themselves did not believe in the resurrection (Matthew 22:22-33). Their whole motivation was to try and trap Jesus in His answer thereby “proving” He was not the Messiah. Not to be outdone, the Pharisees tried their luck and posed a question to Jesus concerning the “greatest commandment” (Matthew 22:34-46, NIV). After giving them the correct answer, Jesus asked the Pharisees a question which they could not answer, forcing them to retreat from the crowd humiliated. The goal of the religious leaders was to maintain their position in the Jewish society. Fearing Jesus’ stature with the people, they did their best to condemn Him on any infraction at all. Our Lord Jesus, who knows the heart of a man (John 2:25), saw through their duplicity. It is important to note that Jesus always responded to the lies and deceipt with truth spoken in love.
Other types of conflict in the Bible concern the PROGRAM or METHOD. Goals refer to “what” should be done but the program or method refers to “how” something should be done. In Acts 6, an account is given of conflict concerning the feeding of widows. The fellowship of believers was taking care of the Jewish widows first. The non-Jewish widows were being overlooked in the distribution of food. Eventually, the non-Jewish believers complained to the Apostles. After discussing the matter, the Apostles decided to reorganize the food distribution process in order to meet the pressing need of the non-Jewish widows. The Apostles did not have enough time to feed all the needy and perform their primary tasks of preaching and praying. Godly men were appointed to handle this responsibility instead. Rather than change the goal, which was to provide food for the needy, they rearranged the method by which the food was distributed so that more people could be accommodated.
Another example of conflict over the program or method concerns the weighty question of salvation. How is a man saved? How is a sinful human being justified before a holy God? Paul confonted Peter with this question after Peter visited the church at Antioch:

When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray. When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all, "You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs? We who are Jews by birth and not 'Gentile sinners' know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified." (Galatians 2:11-16, NIV)

Paul cut right to the heart of the matter. He said that he opposed Peter "...to his face" (Galatians 2:11, NIV). Is a man justified by what he does or by what our Lord Jesus Christ has done? Peter was clearly retreating back into legalism, back into a system of earning “righteous points” with God by obeying the law. Paul presented the irrefutable argument that it is only by the grace of God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that a man can be saved. Paul does not provide any detail of the resolution to the conflict. It is obvious, though, from history that the perverted gospel of grace plus the Law was not successful in derailing true Christianity. With the efforts of Paul and the many other evangelists, missionaries, prophets, and teachers, God’s word spread and Christianity grew rapidly throughout the known world.
People will differ also on TRADITIONS and VALUES. This gives rise to conflict that, at times, may seem impossible to resolve to anyone’s satisfaction. An individual’s identity is often wrapped up in traditions and values. Infringing on those values becomes a personal attack which must be defended at all costs. Our Lord Jesus confronted many of the Jewish leaders’ traditions which were in direct contradiction of God’s laws. In His Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), Jesus contrasted their legalistic, public fulfillment of certain traditions as a way to justify themselves rather than to glorify God. Their prayers and fasting did not produce righteousness for them but became a sinful habit in which they glorified themselves before the people.
Jesus had direct encounters with them on many occasions. In one such exchange, Jesus questions their integrity in the tradition of ceremonial hand washing:
The Pharisees and some of the teachers of the law who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus and saw some of his disciples eating food with hands that were "unclean," that is, unwashed. (The Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they give their hands a ceremonial washing, holding to the tradition of the elders. When they come from the marketplace they do not eat unless they wash. And they observe many other traditions, such as the washing of cups, pitchers and kettles.) So the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus, "Why don't your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with 'unclean' hands?" (Mark 7:1-5, NIV)
Jesus points out their hypocrisy in verses 6-15. The Pharisees wash their hands but not their hearts. Inside, they did not have a personal relationship with God. They did not love God. They had not been born of the Spirit of God. They continued to try and make themselves holy before God by outward signs and rituals. Jesus pointed out that it is inside the heart that is defiled. The corrupt inner being is the well from which sin originates. Therefore, it is not what is on the outside or comes in from the outside that defiles a man. Thank God, He provides the way for a man to be made new on the inside rather than simply polish up the exterior.
This was a very significant conflict for the Pharisees. As the religious leaders who upheld the written Law along with their own oral tradition, they had a stronghold on the lives of the Jewish people. This gave the Pharisees an elite position in the society, power to manipulate people, and wealth due to their enormous influence. It is easy to understand how far they strayed from God’s purposes given this kind of political, social, and economic influence. Jesus’ teachings contradicted both their own biased interpretation of the Law and the oral traditions they gave the people to address specific situations. Nearly every time Jesus spoke, His word turned the people back to a true understanding of God. The Pharisees continued in diametric opposition to Jesus until they killed Him.
Jesus dealt with them in love throughout the escalation of their attacks. In the end when the Pharisees refused the grace that had been freely and persistently offered to them, Jesus strongly denounced them in public with words such as these:
“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar." (Matthew 23:33-35, NIV)
They had made their choice and, regretably, chose their own way rather than the Lord Jesus Christ. This is one more lesson to learn about conflict. Some will choose to do wrong, create conflict, and will not be dissuaded.

3. Results of Conflict
An interesting observation about conflict is that most people would rather avoid it altogether. All too often, people see conflict as a negative and the lack of conflict as a positive. The “politically-correct” crowd would have us believe that no one should ever say or do anything to offend anyone. If that were true (and it is not) then Jesus would have been a sinner and His death on the cross for our sins would be meaningless since He offended many during His earthly ministry. It is unlikely that one could ever say anything today that someone would not construe as offensive. Moreover, the gospel of Jesus Christ is itself divisive; Our Lord Jesus Himself, said:
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn "a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household." Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:34-38, NIV)
As someone once noted, Christianity is a universal offer but an exclusive membership.
The difficulty with this “no conflict” mentality is that it ignores the beneficial results that can be realized through properly managed conflict. Both positive and negative results can be seen in the outcome of conflict. The example of conflict over feeding of the widows in Acts 6 shows a very positive outcome as a result of working through the conflict. In the end, both sides in the conflict were satisfied. This is known as a “win-win” situation and should always be the goal of any attempt at conflict management. Even when the conflict is personally painful because of the relationships involved, the outcome can have greater benefit than the interim pain. Consider the conflict between two prostitutes over who was the real mother of a particular baby (1 Kings 3:16-28). The first woman said the baby was hers. The second woman declared that the first had smothered her baby by accident and then swapped babies with her during the night. The conflict escalated to King Solomon who had to manage a most puzzling conflict. His method of resolving the conflict was ingenious; he gave an order to cut the baby in two and give each woman one half. The real mother showed her love by pleading with the King to just give the baby to the other woman. King Solomon gave the baby to the real mother and the case was closed. The outcome of this conflict, again, was very positive.
Conflict can also have destructive consequences as well. Consider the dispute between Barnabas and Paul as they tried to decide who to take with them on a missionary journey. Barnabas wanted to take John (also called Mark). Saul did not think John could do the job because of an earlier failure. The account in Acts 15:36-40 says that there was "...such a sharp disagreement that they parted company" (Acts 15:39, NIV). What an unfortunate result it is when two people break fellowship over an issue like this. What started as a difference of opinion, "...Paul did not think it wise to take him [Mark], because he had deserted them in Pamphylia" (Acts 15:38, NIV), resulted in the two men disengaging their work and their friendship. Barnabas took Mark and went home to Cyprus. Nothing else is mentioned of his missionary journies in the book of Acts. It is encouraging to note that Paul later commends John Mark as "...helpful to me in my ministry" (2 Timothy 4:11, NIV). Paul was able to forgive and restore John Mark; only the Lord knows what rich harvest may have resulted from his continued work with Barnabas.
Conflict can have benefits that outweigh its negative aspects. It can help a group of individuals to clarify its goals and unite around a new understanding and acceptance of those goals. Fellowship can actually be strengthened as people learn to work through conflict and realize that it does not have to divide or end the fellowship. Individuals can gain a better understanding of one another. In the case of the early church, a dispute arose over circumcision. One group thought that Christians must get circumcized and obey the Law of Moses in order to be saved. Paul disagreed and went back to Jerusalem with Barnabas and Titus to settle the matter (Galatians 2:1-5). Scripture reveals two important factors in containing conflict in this account:

Paul discussed the matter in private.

Paul discussed the matter with the leaders of the church at Jerusalem.

Another observation about conflict concerns its sinfulness. Sometimes conflict itself is sinful. Satan’s conflict with God over who sits on the throne is sinful in and of itself. Mankind’s long war against God in the workplace is sinful in and of itself. Not all conflict is sinful. A very important distinction must be made between conflict that is sinful and conflict that results in sinful behavior. Paul and Barnabas, as noted earlier in Acts 15, had a disagreement over the value of Mark to the team. It started out as a difference in opinion; it resulted in sinful behavior as the discussion became such a "sharp disagreement" (Acts 15:39, NIV) that they severed their relationship. The conflict itself concerned an honest difference of opinion. Such disagreements are not sinful. When they become personal attacks on one another or result in permanent division, the conflict can be said to have triggered sinful behavior.
In summary, the Bible reveals conflict in many shapes and sizes. The conflict can involve heavenly beings, humans, and even God Himself. Conflict in and of itself may be sinful. At other times, conflict is a natural outgrowth of the humans, each with unique characteristics, interacting with one another. Conflict then is a spark that challenges us to work together to overcome the differences in a Christ-like manner. The Lord commands us to:

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Eph 4:2, NIV)

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Eph 4:32, NIV)

Speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15, NIV)

Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19b, NIV)

If all conflict in the church could be handled with these admonitions in mind and practice, there would be much less bitterness, division, and turnover in local churches. The world would really see a difference in the way of Christ.

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Copyright 5/23/2001, Randy Lariscy.