Why Should Anyone Get Married?

In this passage, God determines that a solitary human is not good since (a) he would be lonely and (b) he would need help. So God first showed Adam his need for a mate, such that all the other animals had. Then God made the first woman from a part of Adam. Bringing the woman to Adam, God established marriage as that between one woman and one man. He provided the framework for the family unit as a building block of society.

Scripture Passage: Genesis 2:18-25
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Main Thought: Since God desired humans to fill the earth and rule over it, He had to provide a suitable building block for society which He did with the "family."

1. God makes provision for the family through a suitable mate for Adam.
2. God establishes the family unit to organize society.

"The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.' Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.'" (Gen. 2:18-23 NIV)

 

1. God makes provision for the family through a suitable mate for Adam.

God made Adam realize his need for a mate. Imagine for a moment you are taken up from your chair to the most beautiful paradise you could ever dream up. God has placed YOU in the garden of Eden. Vegetation is everywhere and bushes and trees are literally bursting with ripened fruit. There are many animals here -- all playful and unafraid of you -- but there are no people. How do you feel? Lonely? Then God tells you to work the garden. "All by myself Lord?" How do you feel now? Overwhelmed? Then God proceeds to bring each animal to you, one by one, and says, "Name them." So you name the livestock and other beasts of the field, the different types of birds. But something is missing -- each of the animals has a mate which complements it. But you have no mate. The animals are just plain different. God could have simply told Adam that he needed a mate. But in establishing his work and showing him that all the other animals had their own mate, God made Adam realize on his own that he needed someone besides himself. Perhaps, someone beside himself!

God formed the first woman from a part of the man. The sage of our time, and perhaps it has been said in so many words in other times, about women, "You can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em." But hold on a minute here, men, because the woman is a part of you. And you are a part of the woman. God took one of Adam's ribs, after mercifully putting him to sleep in the world's first surgical procedure, and used it to form the woman. God did not take the woman from the man's foot to be a doormat, nor from the top of his head to be his superior, but from his side to be his equal and his helper. Gen. 1:27 says that both the man and the woman were made in the image of God. There is certainly no room to either man or woman to make themselves superior to the other or inferior to the other. We are of equal nature in the eyes of God. This does not mean men and women are without differences -- we are different. This accounts for the different roles ascribed to men and women in Scripture. But nowhere does Scripture ever say that women are inferior to men or men inferior to women. God made the woman from Adam's rib to provide this important point for all time.

God brought the woman to Adam who immediately received her. Adam took one look at the first woman and said, "Wow!" That's a paraphrase of Gen. 2:23. Adam was quite excited in seeing the one who was his perfect mate. In naming her "Eve," Adam pronounced both an affirmation of her nature -- as one made from himself -- and an affirmation of her purpose -- as one made for himself. Adam was incomplete without the woman and she without him. Together, they completed each other. Together, they formed the basis of the family unit.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." (Gen. 2:24-25 NIV)

 

2. God establishes the family unit to organize society.

God established roles in the family. What exactly is a "family"? In just two verses, God provides the answer to this question. He presents the role of father and mother, husband and wife. It all starts with marriage. Adam and Eve had a unique marriage ceremony -- the minister was their Creator -- God Himself. In this text, we are also given the biblical injunction to raise our children but send them out to establish their own family. The man is to leave his original family unit, that is his father and mother, and join with a woman in holy matrimony. It is holy because it is ordained by God. It is matrimony because the man and the woman are to join together. Marriage, then, has its basis in God's design for mankind.

Becoming a father and mother is only possible by having children. This too is brought into focus in this text. The marriage provides the perfect environment to raise children. Both the father and the mother are available to care for, nurture, protect, and teach the child. Rather than just one parent or the other, God designed the family with both a man and woman. This way the child can learn to relate to both sexes. Having two for the job of parenting is also essential in this regard:

"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Eccl. 4:9-12 NIV)

In a time when marriages are failing in terrible proportions, we need this look back at why God designed the family with a husband and wife, father and mother. The family provides the place of nurture and care for children. Children need the love and care of both parents. This is not intended to criticize or berate those single parents among us. Rather, it is to be a sober reminder of the need for and value of the two-parent home. As this passage from Ecclesiastes reminds us, two provide efficiency in work, help in times of trouble, the warmth of being together, protection from outsiders, and endurance when tested.

God established motivation to form a family. Gen. 2:24 begins "For this reason..." For what reason does a man seek to form a family unit? For the same reason Adam sought a helper -- he needed her and she needed him. Adam had no one suitable for him until God made Eve. In allowing Adam to realize this need in his life, God gave him the motivation to form a family. Also, this verse says that because of this need, the man will leave his father and mother to form the new family. A man and woman marry to form an independent family unit. This, of course, does not mean you do not have to speak to your parents or your in-laws after you get married. Sorry! It simply means that you are to live as an autonomous family unit providing support and care for your own.

In establishing this motivation to create families, God accomplishes the goal of organizing the multiplicity of people He desires to fill the earth. With no family unit, where would you go when you lost your job? The breakup of the family today has certainly demonstrated this to us in a tangible way through the homeless. Why are they homeless? They have no family to go home to! In lieu of family support, the body of Christ must take up the challenge and provide the secondary "family" for those without. Many in our church are here in this area but far away from their own family. Our church body must be the second "family" for our own who need us. Who do you know in this body who needs your family support?

God established boundaries for the family. Why can't a two men who love each other and desire a lifetime monogamous relationship get married and have a "family"? Let's consider this burning issue of our times. Aside from the obvious problem of procreation, why is it considered wrong for a homosexual man or woman to "marry" another? In Genesis 2:24, the instruction is given clearly that a "man" will leave his "father" and "mother" and unite with his "wife" and the two will become "one flesh." In this we see these critical distinctions:

The man is leaving a family unit with a father and mother. The definition and meaning of these words cannot be changed. From the Hebrew language, the meaning of father is a man who has children and the meaning of mother is a woman who has children.

A man (male human) will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife (female human).

That the two will become one flesh has both physical and figurative connotations. Figuratively, the two will bond together in love with common goals. Admittedly, it might be possible for two men or two women to accomplish this. They would not, however, be able to fulfill God's command to "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth..." (Gen. 1:28 NIV) which was given to Adam and Eve.

As one pundit put it, "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!" God's express design for the family includes the boundaries of one man, one woman, for a lifetime.

God established relationships for the family. God established two principles for the family and specifically husband and wife. The first is the principle of commitment and the second is oneness. The man shall leave his own family and unite with his wife -- committing himself to her and her to him for a lifetime of love, honor, and obedience to one another. Commitment is what gives each party in the family unit the assurance of love and stability of environment that makes it a safe place to grow up. Many people today go into marriage with the idea that if it doesn't work out (meaning if I don't like it) that a divorce will take care of it. Never let this word enter your thoughts or bring it up as a possibility for your own marriage. God hates divorce and affirmed this when our Lord Jesus Christ responded to the question of divorce for any reason:
 

"'Haven't you read,' He replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female", and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.'" (Gen. 19:4-6 NIV)

Commit yourself to your mate today for the rest of your life. Bind yourself to the Lord to love your mate unconditionally. The Lord will surely bless you as you give yourself freely to your mate.

The second principle is oneness. God's express design for the family includes the husband and wife becoming one flesh. It does not say they "are one flesh" but that they will "become" one flesh. This is a relationship, based on commitment, which established common goals and lives that are intertwined around the other. Like the braids of a rope, the life of the man and the life of the woman become wrapped around each other as time goes on. They are united in love and purpose. This excludes two prevalent situations we see today as well:

Two people living together under the same roof but living separate lives in separate bedrooms. God commanded that you unite with your wife -- the KJV reads "cleave unto your wife" -- and become one flesh. You cannot live separate lives with separate bedrooms and expect to be one flesh.

Two people live together under the same roof yet fight like cats and dogs until totally bruised and broken. What is at the root of two people's constant argumentative stance toward one another? Is it unconditional love or demanding love? Is it selfless service or selfish desire? Is it understanding of weakness or expectations of perfection? Is it common goals or individual unfulfilled "dreams"? Is it a desire to meet the other's needs or a desire to control? Clearly, God does not desire two people to fight constantly.

If you are in either of these situations, you should turn to God repentantly and ask forgiveness from your mate. You need to work, yes I said work -- and it is hard work -- to love your mate. You need to work to communicate with your mate. You need to work to establish common threads in your lives.

When two people have forged a marriage bond based on commitment and oneness, it has startling results. We see in Genesis 2:25 the results for Adam and Eve: "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Adam and Eve experienced intimacy with one another. They experienced the freedom to talk about anything and everything and without shame. They were open with one another with no fear of embarrassment, ridicule, or gossip.

In defining the family, God created a building block for society as a whole. This is how God designed the family to operate. This creates the stable, safe environment each of us needs to grow up in a world that is changing and quite ruthless toward people. God desired a unit which could grow (how big is your family -- my grandmother had fourteen children!). God desired not a mob of people living together without purpose but a collection of family units that could interrelate and intermarry to form new family units. The family unit provides independence and autonomy for each group. The family unit provides a perfect place for teaching the next generation -- the children -- what the previous generation -- the parents --- has learned. Most importantly, the family is the place where God designated us to learn about Him and how to love Him:
 

"These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life." (Deut. 6:1-2 NIV)

Reflect on YOUR life: Does your marriage reflect the design that God intended? If so, then rejoice in it and pray that you and your mate might continue to grow closer to one another in the love of Christ. If not, then pray right now for God's forgiveness and commit to living your married life His way. Ask for His wisdom to lead you and His power to work in your heart to help you love your mate the way Jesus Christ loves you. God is not far from you -- He desires your love and your trust in Him through His Son and our Savior, the LORD Jesus Christ. When you put Jesus Christ in the center of your marriage relationship, you will find the stability, peace, and ever-increasing abundance of love that will last for time and eternity!

Our Creator God loves you and wants you to know Him! If you would like to contact this ministry for further information or questions, please send your e-mail to:
Email: ministryrequest1@WordTruth.Com
Web Site: WordTruth.Com

Copyright 1999, Randy Lariscy.